Being Busy
“How are you doing?” “Oh, I’ve been really busy.”
People wear that “busy” label like a badge of honor. I think it is supposed to mean “I’m pretty important,” or “I am successful.” I used to think that. Now I’m not so sure.
I have watched some YouTube videos that focus on getting things done. People like Ali Abdaal and Tim Ferriss are constantly teaching people how to do more things in less time. And they are making a fortune doing it. Particularly in the case of Ali Abdaal, he tells about the work that his team does, and how he manages it with lots of high-tech tools. He has made millions of dollars, so he makes it all look very attractive. But it also seems like a lot of work.
Is this what we want? To be working all the time? I like the joke about the business executive who was walking on the beach on vacation and saw a fisherman pulling up to shore. The fisherman had caught a really nice group of fish. The business person asked how long it took to catch them. “Not long,” said the fisherman. The exec asked, “Why didn’t you catch some more?” He replied, “This is enough for my family today.” The man on vacation asked, “Then what do you do with the rest of your time?”
The native responded, “Well, I sleep in, play with my kids, take a nap with my wife, and then I have some time at night with my friends. We have a few drinks and play music.”
The business executive was excited. He said, “I have an MBA and I know what you should do. You should fish more, and sell the extra fish. Then you can buy a bigger boat. That boat will help you catch even more fish, and you will soon have an entire fleet working for you. Instead of selling fish on the dock, you can open your own canning factory. Eventually you will become so big that you can take your company to New York so you can be close to the stock market.”
“Why do I need the stock market?” asked the fisherman.
“Because after a while you can sell stock in your company and make millions.”
“Wow,” said the fisherman. “Then what?”
“Well,” said the executive, “Then you could retire. You could sleep in, play with your grandkids, take a nap in the afternoon, and then have some time at night to have some drinks and play music.”
One lesson that I take from this is that we need to begin thinking about how we want to live now.
I think people look to the efficiency experts because they aren’t happy with their lives, and they think squeezing more in will change things. I wonder if they are doing the wrong things, and they need to change their priorities. People become unhappy for a great variety of reasons. They look at others that have more, and they think they want the life that they imagine that those wealthier people have. Or they are unhappy because they are struggling in their relationships, and they don’t know how to change the routines they have developed. Or they are unhappy because recent events in their lives have been negative — someone had a health issue, or they suffered a loss, or their car needed an expensive repair. It could be anything. But I’m pretty sure that just doing more of the same isn’t going to be a good solution.
It occurs to me that a better fix is to spend some time to figure out what you really want in life. You would be surprised at how many people have no idea what they want. There are some basics, of course — everyone wants some resources (notice that this is not the same as a job), health, relationships with friends and loved ones, and something that makes life worth living. Even some of these are debatable; I’ve met some of the poorest people in the world in Africa who are extremely happy.
Here are some ideas about how to determine what you really want. There are several tools to help that are free online:
1. O*NET Interest Profiler (U.S. Dept. of Labor)
Career interest exploration
Link: https://www.onetcenter.org/IP.html
2. VIA Character Strengths – Free Results Version
Gives full list of 24 ranked strengths for free
Link: https://www.viacharacter.org
3. Authentic Happiness Strengths Survey (University of Pennsylvania)
Strong academic base
Link: https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu (See Questionnaires)
These tools may help to identify some clues. If you think you still need more ideas, working with a therapist may help. They can use values clarification techniques or narrative psychology to help explore your life story. There are also spiritual exercises that people have found helpful to discover their calling.
Being busy isn’t a problem if you are moving in the direction that you want to go. I hope you can find that direction.
